As I sat watching NCIS with my grandmother, who is threatening to give away yet another twist in the show, a sudden ache deep in my gums reminds me that, even at 19, my body is still growing (Although I’ve been the same height since 6th grade, and the same weight for almost as long). This simple idea started a train of thoughts, which have been cropping up more and more as of late: I will be twenty in March.

I will be twenty on March 20th of 2016, and yet still my body, the same body I’ve had my whole life, is throwing me a curveball.

Granted, it’s a very normal curveball as far as that goes, but it’s still a change, a change SO incredible that my tiny mouth apparently can’t contain it.

So, as it is now the night before my surgery, I stop to ponder.

Why am I so worried/excited for 20?

Legally I’ve been an adult for almost two years now, so really it’s more of a two-year-adultiversary.

For some reason 20 just seems really big- too big for my body to hold, because, honestly, I still pass for a high-schooler, and get mistaken for the student instead of the teacher.

I digress.

What I mean to say is that as I sit here and type this out, I am coming to the conclusion that yes, 20 is indeed a big number, and no I don’t feel prepared for it, but it IS still my proper number.

It’s kinda like when I was a kid and mom would would get a size that was just a bit bigger than I needed so I could grow into it.

For some reason I’ve been allowing myself to think that my teen years were for adventuring, and once those years are up, I have to settle down, but that’s not true at all. With each new year there should be a new level of growth and maturity, but that doesn’t mean I can’t also watch Adventure Time and go trick-or-treating (one of the perks of not looking my age).

At least, that’s what I’m telling myself.

Maybe all of this rambling is just to avoid the actual thought of my near-chipmunk-future?

Anyway, sorry for the gap between posts, I’m returning to college this week and I still have a lot of preparing to do! But more on that another time.

Cheers, to wisdom, adulthood, and convincing your friends to dress up like the Golden Girls!

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